Tonight

I always wanted to be a singer, wanted to play the guitar and become famous.  I'm working on the guitar part, but the vocals are definitely not there, and neither are the lyrics.  But this is a poem I wrote late one night after I had fallen to Satan's ways.  I'll explain it in depth later.

Tonight you've won
Because of you, I have fallen,
Far too long you've kept me from His light,
Well that ends, tonight.

Listen carefully Satan
You're winning streak is over
Your evil ways have no place here
And your days are numbered.

As I stand here tonight
I know my Lord is moving
Moving closer
To ending your reign.

For that day will come
Where you will fall to His wrath
Nothing can save you,
Nothing will save you.

For on that Day even you will bow
Not out of reverence, but humiliation
For God's mercy extends to me
But you, God has no mercy.

So leave here O wretched one
You have no right to dwell here
You're finished
He has won.

Now forgive me father
For I have wronged you far too long
Lord, I ask tonight be the night
I return to You, to Your Arms, Home.

As I stand beside You
I become stronger than he knows how,
And in this hour
we begin our attack.

Father with you by my side
And Your everlasting Water,
My Water gun is ready
To take down the evil one.

So tonight we charge to Hell
Carrying with us, Your tools of life,
For with this device, Satan,
Your life, will end.

It begins tonight, Lord,
And I stand before You.
Embraced by Your Love,
Nevermore, will I fall.

Who Read's This Blog?

I'm going to take a break from the series that I had planned to write for just a bit and I want to ask you a simple question.  Do you read this blog?  If the answer is yes, I ask that you comment with a simple yes, you don't have to put your name, or any information about you, I just want to see if anyone is reading this site.  If the answer is yes, then included in your comment, write what you want to discuss, because this has been mostly one-sided and I would love for it to open up to you, the readers, on what you would like to talk about. 

Friday, April 30, 2010 - Letting Go

Senior Night for baseball...

This night was 14 years in the making.  For fourteen years, I played baseball, the last four with a great group of guys who I am definitely going to miss and already do.  So let me walk you through the entire night.

Senior Night is the last home game of baseball for the seniors on our team.  Pretty self explanatory.  Anyways there were ten of us, and only ten of us played, besides a junior who came in relief.  Anyways, the game was a tough one, not only emotionally but the game itself was a typical north crowley come from behind fashion, sadly it did not turn out the way we had hoped.  We lost 6-7, story of our season, half of district games were lost by one run.  And for most of us, this was our last game.  Less than half of us will go on to play college baseball, and less than that may make it to play longer.  But for me, this was it, this was my last game, and it still truly has not set in yet.  But I do feel very fortunate, my last time in the field I caught the last out on a flyball in foul territory, and the last time up to bat I hit a base hit to right field, so I do feel very blessed that is the way God decided to end my baseball career.

But it was after the game that hit me the hardest.  Every other member of the NC Baseball program, freshman through junior lined up around the base path and shook each of our hands after we walked out to the mound with our mom and dad as our dads threw our last pitch to us.  This was the emotional part, and I did it last.  I was the last Senior of '010 to round the bases and step on homeplate in the 2010 season. 

So did I have any regrets?  Well, I would love to say no I didn't have any regrets.  However, I would be lying to you, and I am a horrible liar so you would have figured it out anyway.  My only regret is that I did not keep God involved in the game as much as I had planned to.  But that is the funny thing about plans, often times they never end up the same way you had planned, hehe, planning the plans never come out how you planned.  This year I did a better job of it, but I will never be able to meet my expectations because I set the bar way too high for me to ever achieve.  But that's okay, because everything that happened during my four years of baseball has formed me into the man that I have become now.  Both athletically and in my relationship with Christ. 

A friend of mine once told me that, in a nutshell, God had given me this gift of baseball, and I had held onto it for too long instead of giving it back to God and letting Him use it my life to glorify Him rather than myself trying to use it to make me happy.  And he was right.  I held onto baseball for so long because I never wanted it to end.  But as I caught that last out, as I got my last base hit in my final at bat, and as I rounded the bases for the last time in a baseball uniform, I stepped on home plate, signifying a full circle ending to a great baseball career that would not have been possible without God, and with that final step on the plate, it was time to let go.  It was time to let go and give it back to God, and since then, that connection with baseball is not the same, but that is perfectly okay because God is bigger than a game of baseball.