Service

So anyone who knows me knows that service is a huge deal to me. And it is so easy for me to serve and show that servant's mentality and heart while on mission trip. But when I get home, I lose so much of what I so desperately want and strive to be. If that makes any sense whatsoever then my thought is why is it so easy to be a servant on a mission trip but hard back in the "life" or " home"? Stuff as simple as organizing a plan for passing out water to the thirsty or food for the hungry? Things I truly wanted to do and said I would do when I got back from mission trip.
(For those wondering, most people who we give water to will not have time for or want to talk, so my thought was to design a label for the water bottle that either shared the gospel or shared a few verses or even simply said "Jesus loves you" but for the past two weeks I have stared at that water bottle on the floor of my room as I pass on by.)
So what is it the fact that I'm leaving for college in a week and I'm scared out of ny mind?
Is it that I just don't know what to say about Jesus on a freaking water bottle?
Am I just too busy and too wrapped around other things right now?
Or maybe it goes back to my last post about how little effort I've put recently into my relationship with God.

I think all of these have a small say in the matter, but the last one hurts the most, cause its the biggest. Coming from a guy who loves to serve, and who wants to one day marry a girl who has a servant's heart and mind and yearns to serve her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and a guy who wants to have his first tattoo say "servant of the lord" or simply "servant", I feel like the worst servant right now. I certainly don't feel like I can say that right now about myself, because of the lack of effort.
And I'm saying all this on my phone from my best friend's living room floor that I'm staying with because I'm so sick of how quickly I came down from my mission trip high and how awful of a servant I've brought back in myself since team anywhere.

And I apologize for the rant I just went on.

But it gets me to this point: when I wake up in five hours, I go home, a place that,is comforting beyond do many levels, but also holds many temptations, and as I spend my last couple days at home, they will be spent serving, worshipping, and praising my God whose Name is above all Names and who is my Strong Tower!
Hold me accountable.

It's time to start being the servant I'm called to be.